benc: (Default)
benc ([personal profile] benc) wrote2006-08-19 12:02 pm

Assburgers Syndrome

Assburger's syndrome is believed to be the most common personality disorder in the Western world, yet it remains one of the least frequently diagnosed. It is an often-degenerative condition that can manifest itself in many different ways in different patients, but almost all Assburger's sufferers exhibit at least five of the following symptoms:

  • Delusions of superiority.
  • A hyper-inflated sense of their own intelligence, wit, charm or appearance.
  • Ditto for their professional, sporting, musical, rhyming and/or computer prowess.
  • An obsessive need for praise that borders on fellatio
  • A lack of empathy for others bordering on the sociopathic.
  • A constant oral discharge of faecal matter.
  • The arousal in others of violent or homicidal thoughts.

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